Before the Open I was pissed.  As a partner sometimes I miss the days when I could just roll into the office and trade.  I look forward to the day when the guys we teach are running the desk.  And I can just come in and trade.  And I hope I get to sit all the way in a back row, with the young guys making fun of me, perhaps calling me the old man, and watch them make chops everyday.  But we are not there yet.

So today before the Open I had to make sure we were prepared for a video shoot, consider how to best respond to two sensitive emails, prepare for the Open, check what our new class was learning, answer my regular email, and finish a chapter for the trading book I am writing.   And one of the emails from one of our traders set me off. He was taking a mental health day. If anyone needs a mental health day on the trading desk it’s Steve, me, or JToma. Not some twenty something, young, health, relatively new trader.  I just cannot stand that.  This was all too much.  And I sensed the anger boiling insider of me.

Now if I had one of these things to handle I would not have gotten upset.  But I have learned when there is so much on my plate that an extra issue to handle can set me off.  I was aware of my mental state.  So I wrote down how I felt in my trading journal.  And then I started breathing.

For ten minutes I concentrated on my breathe.  I changed my mental state from anger to calm.  Now my trading results were not great today.  In fact I underperformed based upon the trading opportunities presented.  But I do not judge my trading success based upon my P&L.  There are some things I am working on to improve as a trader.  And I worked on those issues.  I would give myself a B plus for this trading day because of my work improving my trading.

I am particularly impressed with my ability to sense my anger before the Open and then change my mental state. Are you self aware of your emotions before, during, and after the trading day?  While today was a negative trading day, I took a step forward.   Each trading day is an opportunity to get better.  And I did so today because I was self aware.

Best of luck with your trading!